I’ve been not as efficient as I wanted to be when I started this blog. I set myself the high standard of everyday blogging, but work and real life has gotten in the way… not that anyone’s actually reading or caring but still… Standards, you’ve got to have them.
Our relationship suffered its ups and downs like any other relationship, but it was both very unorthodox and still very normal at the same time. Donald Draper and I went through various “I HATE YOU, I WISH I’D NEVER MET YOU” periods in which we both said how horrible we were for each other, but as they say “there’s a thin line between love and hate” and to be honest, regardless of how much I wanted to convince myself that I hated him I was always fully aware that I loved him more than I could bear.
It was during one of those “I HATE YOU” periods that I told him I loved him, yes I told HIM first.
I had changed my phone number to avoid talking to people or have people talk to me, but time was running out for me. It was almost time for me to move away from home for a second time and I was starting to think that I was making a huge mistake for not talking to him before I left, so I caved in and started messaging him and eventually called him. The moment I called him and heard his voice it was like no time had passed, like there had been no arguments and I realized how painfully much I loved him and how horrible it would be if I didn’t tell him.
I knew I loved him from a long time ago but how I realized I loved him is a story for other time.
So where was I… oh yes… I was about to tell him I loved him.
Twas the night before my departure and I had called him earlier because I knew I couldn’t leave without seeing him. The moment I saw him, all my feelings came rushing back and I couldn’t help myself thinking that I could’ve stayed home with him forever instead of moving to a place in which I had no friends and would be miserable. I couldn’t help thinking that I wanted to be able to see and kiss him every day, and just the thought of leaving him was unbearable.
I called him as soon as I made it home after seeing him; as much as I wanted to stay with him I was painfully aware that I had already made a commitment with several people so I had to put on my big girl pants and keep going with the plan.
My flight was scheduled to leave at 8am the next day and it was still 4am and we were talking on the phone, I knew it was a “now or never” situation and since I already had my big girl pants on I knew I was ready to do it. I didn’t stammer, I just blurted it out and since after I said it there was an awkward silence on his side, I want to believe he was honored and surprised, I quickly told him that he didn’t need to tell me he loved me but I knew I did and I was aware that I had to let him know. So I did.
Love Evy
and after I said it he said it too…
after was like 1 minute after J
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